The Countdown

Twenty five years ago you entered my life

Completely unexpectedly

Twenty three years ago, we made a mutual promise

to stay together for eternity

Twenty one years ago, we created life

bonding us completely

Nineteen years ago, another gift came forth

but amid chaotic doubts, reminding us of the promise

Seventeen years ago, a renewal of faith happened

and we began again

Sixteen years ago, we were reminded of the fragility of

what we had

Fourteen years ago, you ran away from the fear of the fraility

that you could not change

Twelve years ago, we began the long painful goodbye

resigning from the expectations we had

Ten years ago, we became you and me

separate identities again

Eight years ago, I sat and watched you from afar

seeking your elusive happiness and throwing away something more important

Seven years ago, I saw you make some some changes

toward acknowledging your mistakes

Five years ago,I sat in a church with others

Saying a final goodbye to you, you chose to leave again

Today I still find you haunt me, memories from yesteryear

The temper, the looks , the silliness, your loneliness

I watch our children go thru life, dealing with each crisis

as it comes, I see you in their actions.

Words uttered years ago continue to taunt me

How I had your best and you will never leave

As I was cleaning last night, I came across some words written

throughout my life,

Once sorted and laid out you had the highest stack

Words showing the gamut of emotions you ran me through

Words reminding me of our promises made, of these being broken

Of the intense emotions felt as I spiraled downward trying to save us

And when I finally let go

I still miss you, even though I know we could not have remained together

but the kids need you, they are like boats on an ocean without a sail

I am their rudder, but without the sail, they are stuck

Through our actions we hurt one another

but we did our best by the kids

now with the support you gave

even I am floundering trying to get through this ocean of endless waves

You entered my life and changed it with your smile, and blue eyes

for that I have cussed you and thanked you

Now I am left with remembering you,seeking the good

to grant you a legacy so the bitterness is muted.

Written and Copywritten by ADR, Anne Denese Rhoney November 30, 2010