Reg's Musings

Where do I begin... or should I even?

2012-01-17T19:23:00.000-08:00

Once I thought this world held excitement and adventure..
Once I believed in good in people, and in life..
Today if you ask me what I believe I shall refrain from answering
For lately it depends on the time of the day and what the deck has dealt
2012 held promise, and faith wavered a weak light feeble though it was
Yet here we are three weeks in, and that light is all but snuffed out
Most act as if they know who I am, yet only a rare few do,
Family, the cornerstone of my life, is slipping away,
How did I end up here, what crime did I commit to stand alone
At this time, in this place, here
Tears shed in darkness, Pain wretches from within
Though from the outside a smile is seen, a moment without care
Yet the darkness looms, just beyond the door,
A call is sent, not from one but from all
No food to feed them, they sit and wait, all the while snarling
then the canvas burns, the holes broaden, the shield from the storm is gone
No sanctuary from the rain, No stand against the wind
Then the sickness slips inside, to weaken the resolve from within
The doctor wont see without a note, the medicine is for the richer folk
So I stand here and wither within the storm, Callous and cold, forlorn
Trying to save the tender bud that struggles to bloom within
yet the gales still come, the weakness threaten to succumb
Young ones hail they know the answer to all, yet they have yet to clear their own path
Family burdened beyond belief have trust in you and turn away
Friends of the sunny days have left to find sweeter meadows in which to play
The few that are left stand and watch the fight, through a barrier which they cant cross
For I have been thrown, left here to without thought,
Not given a reason for this, only to be asked if I have learned the answer
Without being given the question...
I stand confused and alone.

ADR 1/2012

Another Manic and Mawkish Monday....

2011-10-24T08:16:00.000-07:00

Good morning World;
Monday strikes again. This morn seemed like Murphy wanted to visit. Was awoken late... though made up the time. Left the house on time, only to find the car that ran well yesterday, did not wish to crank. Nor did jumping it off help. So had to drive my old Jeep.. gotta love them, they take a licking and still keep kicking; to work. Sans muffler, and with draping headliner. Got to work fine, albeit 20 mins late, but I have an AWESOME crew and bless Shahn for being understanding. We worked it out so he is coming in later than usual today... a little give and a little take.. a great friendship makes.:) Aside from that been rather calm, which is a great thing considering the tension from this morning left a residual headache. Blah... and no Tylenol nearby.
Found out that one of the workers who was out sick last week, is still sick only worse. Her immune system was weakened and she may now have in addition to her reaction to something that set off her asthma, either the flu or pneumonia. I am sending what healing prayers I can to her, and still concerned about my son as well. Friday he had an asthmatic attack, and after finding a non prescription inhaler, he is slowly clearing up and able to breathe somewhat. Though there is still a rattle to his chest. He is at home being a gracious guy and helping with my sickly car. Hopefully they can get things worked out or this will be fun {note the sarcasm}.
Til Anon dear reader, till we meet again.

Finally Friday...

2011-09-23T22:42:00.001-07:00

Wow made it through the last week... glad weekend is here. Cant believe how tired I have been lately. Last two days barely made it home from work then hit the hay hard. Maybe will catch up on rest next two days. Have a good weekend all.

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

2011-09-22T11:56:00.001-07:00

My son is getting his first "true" job... at least that is the way things are going atm. I wish him well. It isn't much, but one that will get his feet wet in that proverbial work pool. And it is a good one that will allow him time to work on his homework while he is working. Fingers crossed.

Rain Rain Please Stay....

2011-09-22T06:48:00.000-07:00

Good Morning,
Things here are going well. Back on day shift then off the weekend. Cool. The internet is not working again at home. Tech support refers me to a technician who came out last time said things were good, now they are saying they need to get into the house again.Wished they would actually fix it. Gotta love the "Passing the Buck" game. And somehow it is always the other guys fault, which at present that is me. But funny how things work just fine for a couple of weeks then just stop working for no reason.
But morning rant aside, I really hope things get better for Japan soon, and China as well. So much rain, and natural disasters. I know here in America we are having areas hit hard as well. But seems like the storms hitting Asia are much worse. At least here, we are semi prepared and usually our buildings are stronger built, thus minimizing our losses. Though loss in any form is terrible and my heart goes out to anyone, worldwide who is suffering. My wish for the day, a little happiness and charity be shared among people.
Have a great day.

Aww Audit again

2011-09-19T13:21:00.000-07:00

Been playing with the camera again... posted some pictures up on the Counting Rope. Plans for the rest of the day... get some sleep for work tonight. Have to eat sometime I believe.. And counting days to Payday.

Work and Sunday Mornings

2011-09-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

Oops I missed a day... was working and went home to make a very tasty dish. Not sure what to call it but was inspired by Parmesan Chicken. Began with the idea as a basis, instead of chicken breasts used the thighs, added red pepper flakes, lemon pepper, and curry as seasoning, coated in a light coating of mayo; topped off with a layer of shredded five Italian cheeses. Baked in the juice of one lemon and one lime; Yummy! Add a strawberry salad with peanuts, shredded Italian cheeses, cranberries,peanuts, pineapple in a bed of butter lettuce, red curly lettuce and spinach. Yes, I do eat greens on occasion :P Today, has started out well, aside from a couple of people not wishing to pay the full rate for a stay over the weekend. But overall the guests are happy, housekeeping is happy, and that means happy front desk clerk. Aside from the people asking directions and my having to repeat x4 times to one person. But all in a days work. Will try to post the pictures of last nights sunset. Depends on how busy I get here at work. Lovely day though. 67 Degrees:) Nice

Lazy Day

2011-09-16T21:03:00.001-07:00

Slept ... surprised John with a treat for his birthday.. Abit belated. But he seemed to enjoy it. The little moments. Smile.

Rest Finally....

2011-09-15T12:33:00.000-07:00

Aww the joys of rest and sleep. To awaken refreshed, without all the stiffness of a "nap". It is a good feeling and one which was forgotten due to its long absence. Mr. Sandman feel free to visit more often. I truly admire your work.

Somethings just won't let go...

2011-09-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

As the time draws nearer to the one year mark of my leaving, seems like The South is trying to hold on tighter to me and mine. Whether it be through dreams or images revisited, reminders of the past try to latch hold. My solution is to acknowledge the memory, and fill the void with positive energy to go forth into a brighter future.
Bon Voyage, negativity... Welcome, change.

Days passing by...

2011-09-13T08:08:00.000-07:00

Times seems to be flying by. Not sure if it is due to lack of sleep or just the state of being. But it seems I have lost some days somewhere along the way.
September seems to be the month for things to happen to me... this is discussed on my Counting Rope page, suffice to say that the next two weeks will be a roller coaster ride for my emotions, to be sure. Tomorrow
will kick it into gear and then every two days following will be a twist to add to the adrenaline rush. Perhaps this rush to my system is the cause of my muse being active. As long as she is then I will feed her addictions. Still working on the blog sites, working on a promise made a while back... look out sister dear, its for you. And prose seems to be dripping from the eaves. It is amusing watching the muses in my mind jockey for position. Let us see what develops.

Time Flies...

2011-09-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

Hello World,

Thought perhaps I would jot a few lines down while I am still semi lucid. Not having slept much in the last week is taking its toll.

September is full of surprises this year.. at least for me.

Not all good, but not all bad either.

First, hurricanes hitting areas that are not used to them, and causing the weather people to try to out guess Mother Nature, secondarily , an Eastern earthquake, not unheard of, considering most of us are on a fault line here, but still caught us by surprise, now the diameter grows inward toward me and mine, a couple of nights ago, actually it was Thursday night, a nightmare sought me out. This was no ordinary one, and since I don't have nightmares, at least to my recollection, this was highly unusual, especially when I awaken myself by literally fighting my way out of the situation. My cats were untouched. As odd as that seemed. Now ongoing insomnia has set in. Not only for myself but my kids as well. And upcoming events are four more birthdays, each two days apart, a death anniversity to kick those off two days prior to the first birthday and the funeral wake that is held each year near the last birthday. I guess all in all, the good out weighs the bad toward the end of the month. So here I go ...taking a deep breath... and counting to three.. "Fighting!"

9/11/00 Remembered

2011-09-11T18:35:00.000-07:00

I left for work at 7 am. The day was beginning to warm. September weather is always unpredictable. I left on time that morning, for the two hour trip into work. The interstate was sparsely populated as I neared Macon, I listened to the radio to keep myself alert. Thinking over the happening of the day before the radio blended into the background, till the news came on. I hate listening to the news, as I reached for the radio, the announcer repeated, " ... a suspected terrorist attack on the World Trade Centers...", my hand stalled on the volume control, "Did I hear right?" I turned up the volume to verify, and the announcer stated again in a rather agitated voice, "We have been attacked. A plane just hit the World Trade Center, .... the rest is garbled as I looked about at a rather quiet morning turning surreal. I was just in front of the Macon Collisum on I-16, nearing the exit to my job which was less than five miles away. As I continued to listen and try to focus on driving, the announcement came that the National Guard was being activated. My dad was active, and here I was two hours away. I pulled into the parking lot of work, went inside, the workers had the TV in the conference room on. There I heard the second plane had struck, and another unidentified was heading toward the Pentagon. I tried to call home, my kids were in school. The phones lines were tied up. Everything was busy. I was beginning to panic, so I called my sister in Vancouver, who was still sleeping, " We are at war," is the first thing I remember saying to her. She turned on the TV at that point and saw what we were seeing here. I asked her to call Dad, and I would call her back. I followed the news throughout the day. And we were able to leave work earlier than normal. I made it home and hugged all my kids and counted my blessings as well as said prayers for the lives lost, the workers who were still continuing to save the lives that were in balance. And I went to bed knowing that our lives and world had changed.....

Stews Brewing

2011-04-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

Amazed at how my life is still running parallel with my soul sister... while she can't sleep and get

epihanies throughout the night, I am poked and prodded by my ages old muse who seems to get things stirred up before she disappears again. Now my head is bursting with new twists to old ideas. And old projects have new beginning. Hopefully they will see completion... maybe it has taken time for the old ideas to stew about to come to a final realization. So here I go again... fingers crossed.

The Countdown

2010-12-01T01:12:00.000-08:00

Twenty five years ago you entered my life

Completely unexpectedly

Twenty three years ago, we made a mutual promise

to stay together for eternity

Twenty one years ago, we created life

bonding us completely

Nineteen years ago, another gift came forth

but amid chaotic doubts, reminding us of the promise

Seventeen years ago, a renewal of faith happened

and we began again

Sixteen years ago, we were reminded of the fragility of

what we had

Fourteen years ago, you ran away from the fear of the fraility

that you could not change

Twelve years ago, we began the long painful goodbye

resigning from the expectations we had

Ten years ago, we became you and me

separate identities again

Eight years ago, I sat and watched you from afar

seeking your elusive happiness and throwing away something more important

Seven years ago, I saw you make some some changes

toward acknowledging your mistakes

Five years ago,I sat in a church with others

Saying a final goodbye to you, you chose to leave again

Today I still find you haunt me, memories from yesteryear

The temper, the looks , the silliness, your loneliness

I watch our children go thru life, dealing with each crisis

as it comes, I see you in their actions.

Words uttered years ago continue to taunt me

How I had your best and you will never leave

As I was cleaning last night, I came across some words written

throughout my life,

Once sorted and laid out you had the highest stack

Words showing the gamut of emotions you ran me through

Words reminding me of our promises made, of these being broken

Of the intense emotions felt as I spiraled downward trying to save us

And when I finally let go

I still miss you, even though I know we could not have remained together

but the kids need you, they are like boats on an ocean without a sail

I am their rudder, but without the sail, they are stuck

Through our actions we hurt one another

but we did our best by the kids

now with the support you gave

even I am floundering trying to get through this ocean of endless waves

You entered my life and changed it with your smile, and blue eyes

for that I have cussed you and thanked you

Now I am left with remembering you,seeking the good

to grant you a legacy so the bitterness is muted.

Written and Copywritten by ADR, Anne Denese Rhoney November 30, 2010

The Coffee Shop

2010-11-18T07:16:00.001-08:00

Time passes with strife and tests

Filling each day with new challenges

If you live in the moment

How can you enjoy the small pearls

Left along the way

Sitting in a coffee shop relaxing

Leaving the planner, iphone, calender

and deadlines behind, allowing the day

to slowly awaken, revealing the small

pearls of pleasure along the way.

A group of grannies, playing Bridge

A young man watching his Asian dramas

Two others watching the daily news,

awaiting the school bell to ring

All enveloped within the caress of coffees aroma

while the Blues play in the background.

Soothing and gentle, creating introspection

without the drama, everything seems sealed

in a protective bubble. Allowing the mind and body

to acknowledge the new day with a happier mindset.

Giving the mind license to wander and indulge

into areas of creativity and creating solutions for issues

by getting out of the box, and rat race.

Mornings with a cup of Joe, Blues and quiet zones

to bring in the day with a calmness and gentleness that

everyday needs. Life within this bubble, is wonderful

But as with all good things, one must leave to face the day with its

myriad of issues, and hopefully having the chance to breath and

be comforted with the silkiness of the coffee shops bubble, Life will not

be as acidic and troublesome, cause one always has the memory of the lil grannies

playing Bridge, the young man watching his Asian dramas, and the smell of the coffee brewing

in the background set to the strains of a quiet Blues melody.

Written and Copyrighted by ADR, aka Anne Denese Rhoney, Reg, Regnhild, Lobo321, and Lobo among others.

For Those Who Serve...

2010-11-11T11:17:00.000-08:00

For Those Who Served:

Today is a day of remembrance and pride

A day to reflect upon the trials of those who walked before

Of the sacrifices of the ones now, and the ones of the future

Who will continue to guard and protect this life, these freedoms.

It is for the souls who swam through the frigid morning tide

of Normandy, for the ones who fought in Kuwait at the Devils Door,

for the ones who were unable to leave the action theater,

and for the ones who came home, but with scars beyond comprehension.

Some dream of honor and glory, others a sense of duty

All have memories irreplaceable, of camaraderie beyond the office.

Of sharing socks in wet weather, of wading through chest high water,

Memories of having one cigarette but no light, of MRE's, and BDU's.

Some remember shell fire, others a childs smile, an unspoiled view

For some memories are hard to experience,most feel it was worth it

to have protect the choices that are not offered beyond our borders

For this they serve, they sacrifice, they fight, they remain true

To our way of life, our beliefs, to our forefathers, to our patriots.

For this we need to remember those of us that are close to our hearts

For those who have lost all, for those who are missing, yet still fight

for those who are home, yet are still on the battlefield.

We as the ones that benefit the most, should remember to celebrate

daily, the blessings we have been given unselfishly, by our veterans

We need to reach out to our warriors, to assure them they were right

That all the sacrifice and loss was and is appreciated, now its time to heal

Written in honor of our nations Keepers of Peace,

The Warriors of the World that protect daily Man's right to Freedom,

Just to name a few, though not all inclusive

The First Armoured Division Of the USArmy, The Third Armoured Division of the USArmy,

James Hendrix, served 1958, WW11 passed in service with US Air Force,
G.W. Durden, served US Army,SGT Jim B Durden, served US Army NG, US Air Force,retired.

SP/4 John D. Rhoney, served 1983- 1989, US Army, Passed, J. G, Hall, served US Army WWII.

SGT Don Whitley, US Army, retired, SP/4 Christopher Cutlip, presently serving, SGT Gary Purcell, retired, veteran Vietnam., Leonard Dingle, served US Air Force.
Micheal Crovatt, US Marine Corp,and Robert Rogers Veteran US Army are among the many who have touched my life personally. Thank You All for giving me the freedom to be me.

Authored by, Regnhild,aka Reg, Lobo, and Anne Denese Rhoney Copyrighted 11.11.10

Procrastination.... my bane

2010-09-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

Hello all... if anyone is left reading this. I have not disappeared due to popular belief. I have only fallen into that void that is created by overwork and procrastination. I left one job in hopes of having more me time... somehow, that extra time has been absorbed into the new job. While not necessarily a bad thing, just prohibits me from achieving what I wish to achieve. And who's fault is that. Mine... ultimately. Here I am at 43, still chasing rainbows, and leprechauns. I feel twenty years younger, yet my reflection and the toll the stress takes on my body remind me daily how many years I have lived. What have I learned in that time... lots yet not enough.

I have learned to get through the rough patches in life, one must be fluid... like the river running through the canyon, yet like a willow, flexible but able to withstand strong winds.

Life loves to throw us unsuspecting peeps curve-balls, to keep us on our respective toes, just when you think all is good and smooth sailing, that is where the danger begins to manifest.

Most times it is not as traumatic as we think at the time. Yet the traumatic events tend to devastate us.

Most think that living without a cell phone is a tragedy, yet how did our grandparents do it? How did people exist without internet? And vehicles? These have propelled our lives forward, yet at what cost? But I digress... that is what lack of sleep does to oneself. I hope to find my wandering muse and begin this blog in earnest. To acheive what I have set out in the achievements list for myself to improve me and a small part of the world we live in.

Til Anon Everyone.

And so the new day ends....

2010-08-14T00:59:00.000-07:00

As another yet begins. The new day ended as it began with me at work... here only for a few more days. I will really miss it. And actually will have to get used to having these 30+ hours or so to myself again. Oh don't get me wrong.... there is plenty to do... just so used to being behind the wire that having extra time to accomplish those things will be abit unsettling at first. But I will now be able to start on my to do list for the year. And have a better chance of completing it. Tomorrow is the second day of free time before the proverbial "Fat Lady Sings', cause Sunday I have quite the long day, beginning at 1o am and ending after midnight, only to return here at 11 am on Monday thru 3 pm, then off to the new job from 4 pm till after midnight. Then we have to see what Tuesday brings, but I do know I will return here Thursday and Friday night. Friday being my last day here. Most likely I will be pulling doubles thru then. Rest shall come afterwards I hope.

Happy Birthday to Me! 8.13.10

2010-08-13T01:23:00.000-07:00

Here it is again, the day to celebrate me. Some wish me well and prosperity, others offer hugs and love, and still others continue on with their lives without knowing.

For me it is another day, but one that gives me the chance and opportunity to change things of myself that I find lacking. Or the chance to discover something deep within my soul that I have not had the chance to find in the past. So for the next year I am on a quest of self discovery, and awaking the dormant side of me to allow myself to become a fuller and more rounded individual.

I hope to become healthier, better focused and more accomplished. With this little blog to keep reminding me of my goals; I will achieve these at least.

So lets make a to do list for Reg... and review it in thirty days from today to see what changes are being made.

I think I shall post it off to the side of the blog so it will be a constant reminder to me what I hope to achieve over the next year.

I will include a daily photo within this blog of something that resonated with me during the day and struck me in some way with an explanation following the photo.

Enjoy the next year with me.:)

Wishing to be under the Sakuras

2009-05-18T23:38:00.000-07:00

Whilst family and friends are taking flight with the winds of change. I have been thinking that perhaps is it time for me to make some changes. Though my plans as always seems to be the case are quite large, hopefully with careful planning and life slowing down just abit perhaps I can achieve my new goal.
Granted it is a long range one, with many steps needed to get to the end.
With determination and willpower I shall achieve this dream:)